Friday, August 30, 2013
NFL 2013 Season Predictions
Atlanta Falcons (13-3)
The Falcons made some big moves this offseason to take their team to the next level. Over the past few seasons all The Falcons have been known for are being choke artists, they can dominate in the regular season but come playoff time they fold up and go home! But with the addition of Steven Jackson at running back I really feel like he completes their team. Jackson has been a beast of a running back his entire career and basically wasted his talents in St. Louis with The Rams, but he is now finally on a legitimate team and he’s not going to have to carry the entire offense on his shoulders like he did for The Rams. Also on defense they were able to pick up Osi Umenyiora who I think will be a boost to the defense and bring some veteran leadership along with him. Mike Smith is still a soft ass coach and his pussy ass decisions have literally cost his teams a win by ONE YARD so I’m not quite sure I can pick them as The Super Bowl Champ, but I definitely think this team is going to be one of the best teams in the league, at least during the regular season.
Carolina Panthers (9-7)
The Panthers are a team that’s headed in the right direction, but not yet playoff material. Cam Newton is a beast on offense and he still has “ol’ reliable” Steve Smith to pass the ball to, but The Panthers running game is weak outside of Cam Newton. DeAngelo Williams has not lived up to his big contract he signed a couple years ago and seems to regress more every year and so far in preseason play he has looked lackluster, so I think the majority of the offensive production is going to have to come from Cam and that could be bad thing leading to stupid mistakes or even worse an injury. On defense The Panthers drafted a gem last year in Luke Kuechly, this dude is a BEAST on defense wherever the ball is it seems there he is too. He is great in pass coverage, but is also a threat to rush the quarterback and cause turnovers. The Panthers should make some games very interesting this season, but will just miss out on the playoffs because they are still a few pieces away from being a contender.
New Orleans Saints (8-8)
The only improvement The Saints have made this offseason to their mediocre team from last season is that they have Sean Payton back, but other than that this team is going to be the garbage squad. Drew Brees is about the ONLY thing The Saints have going for them, so back to shitsville New Orleans goes!
Tampa Bay Buccaneers (6-10)
What’s going on in Tampa Bay this year……NOTHING!!!!!
Houston Texans (12-4)
I think The Texans are going to once again be one of the best teams in the league this year, they got stronger on defense with the addition of Ed Reed in the secondary and we’re talking about one of the TOP defense’s in the league over the last couple of seasons getting better with a guy who is always where the ball is and if you throw one bad pass or if JJ Watt gets his big ass hand up in the air and gets near the ball Ed Reed will not only intercept the pass, but he also nine times out of ten is running it back for a touchdown. Arian Foster starting the season off injured is not a good thing for The Texans, but so far it seems minor so hopefully it won’t be something that lingers throughout the season because if it does this could be the only problem for The Texans, but luckily for them they are in a weak division so they should get some easy wins and take the division without a problem. We’ll see if this team is legit if they can finally break through during the post season though since they have been known to choke in the playoffs consistently and it’s not even close, they usually get blown out by the really good teams come playoff time so The Texans have a lot to prove this year because if they don’t at least get some sort of big win during the post season they will join that awesome club known as “The Choke Artist Club” I know all about it, I am a Cowboys fan after all!
Indianapolis Colts (9-7)
The Colts are coming off of one hell of a season, they ended up in the playoffs when no one really thought they had a chance, especially once their coach was out with cancer treatments for most of the season. But the team was able to step it up behind the play of the rookie quarterback Andrew Luck who had a great rookie season. The Colts are a decent team headed in the right direction but I still think they have some work to do before they become a legitimate threat. The offense should score some points, but not much is going on on the defensive side of the ball, the good thing for The Colts is they are in a weak division so they should get some good quality wins, but will fall short of the playoffs this time around.
Tennessee Titans (6-10)
Chris Johnson is about the only good thing going on in Tennessee he hasn’t lived up to his big contract he signed a couple years ago, but judging by his preseason I have a feeling he’s going to bounce back big! But outside of that The Titans are God awful and will be going nowhere this season!
Jacksonville Jaguars (2-14)
The Jaguars are seriously the worst team in the league there isn’t much going on here with this team, but hey on a positive note they should get the first pick in the draft next year and maybe they can go after that beast JaDeveon Clowney!
Tuesday, August 27, 2013
NFL 2013 Season Predictions
Chicago Bears (10-6)
The Bears are one of my surprise picks for the season, they have a new coach, which means they will be a completely different team and I think it will be for the best. They also will no longer have Brian Urlacher leading the defense, but I don’t think it will have a major effect since Lance Briggs is still there and the new rookie Jon Bostic already looks like the future at middle linebacker for The Bears. The defense and special teams should be pretty good for The Bears, it’s the offense that has always been their problem, but the good thing is Jay Cutler is playing the final year of his contract so he has to put up or shutup if he wants to get paid next year, so this should work in The Bears advantage. Mark Trestmen, the new coach, is an offensive genius and I think will help turn around the offense and turn The Bears into a contender immediately!
Green Bay Packers (10-6)
The Packers didn’t really do much of anything this offseason except for lose Greg Jennings, but I don’t think that’s a big deal since I think he is past his prime and spent most of last year injured anyways, so The Packers have proven they can survive without him. Aaron Rodgers is still a great quarterback so I expect him to have another good season, but they didn’t do anything to improve the offensive line or running game which will put all of the pressure on Rodgers. The defense is getting older and this is going to be a tough division to win so with The Packers not making any improvements I feel like it will be tough for them to win the division, but should be a threat all season and make this an interesting division race.
Detroit Lions (9-7)
The Lions have a lot of talent, but I don’t think their coaching staff is good enough to combine all that talent and make it work in a winning way. The offense can score a ton of points and so can the defense but for some reason this team has never been able to take it to the next level to become a legitimate contender for The Super Bowl. Calvin Johnson has proven to be one of the best receivers in the game and Reggie Bush should be a good addition to the team, but nothing really stands out about this team to make me believe they will even make the playoffs.
Minnesota Vikings (6-10)
All The Vikings have going for them is Adrian Peterson on offense and Jared Allen on defense outside of that this team is HORRIBLE! Christian Ponder will not be leading them anywhere except to the couch come playoff time!
Baltimore Ravens (11-5)
Everybody has been worried about The Ravens this offseason for some reason just because they lost a bunch of their veterans to retirement or free agency, etc, but truthfully I don’t think they have lost a step at all because the guys they lost in the offseason are all basically old dudes who are past their prime. The Ravens still have their coach, running back, quarterback and on top of that I think their defense improved with the addition of Elvis Dumerville, so tell me what it is again that The Ravens should be upset about? It may be only preseason but The Ravens have looked really good, especially on offense, the offensive line looks really solid and Ray Rice looks like a beast, I can see this guy leading the league in rushing this season as well as The Ravens winning their division and being a dominant team throughout the season and making yet another run at The Super Bowl.
Cincinnati Bengals (10-6)
The Bengals are one of my surprise picks for this year, I think the duo of Andy Dalton and AJ Green is going to be out of control. The two of them are going to be tough for any defense to defend and I think they will not only shred up the defense but score a lot of points! The Bengals defense was one of the best in the league at creating turnovers last year and I think will only improve this year. So with the combination of a high scoring offense and a good defense The Bengals should be a tough opponent and should be competitive come playoff time.
Pittsburgh Steelers (8-8)
There really aren’t too many positive things I can say about The Steelers going into this year. They lost their top receiver Mike Wallace to free agency, the defense is getting old and the offensive line is shit as usual! Ben Roethlisberger will be lucky if he makes it through all 16 games this regular season because there ain’t nobody blocking for him, which is typical for The Steelers over the last couple of seasons, so you’d think they’d figure that one out but they haven’t! On top of that they have NO running game, I’d be willing to bet a million dollars The Steelers end up in last place for rushing yards this year because they are really hurting at the running back position. This is going to be a rough season for The Steelers.
Cleveland Browns (4-12)
As usual The Browns will be one of the worst teams in the league, no surprises here even to their own fans.
Friday, August 23, 2013
NFL 2013 Season Predictions
San Francisco 49ers (12-4)
The 49ers had a great season last year and just fell short of winning The Super Bowl and this off season they made some BIG additions to not only stay on top of their division, but to also continue to dominate The NFC and to get back into and win The Super Bowl. Colin Kaepernick came out of nowhere and had a great season and I expect him to continue it on into this year. I think Kaepernick is one of the most talented quarterbacks in the league he is fast as hell, plays smart and has one hell of an arm. Some of this dudes passes are so on point it’s amazing and he will have a new guy to pass the ball to with Anquan Boldin, who was traded to San Francisco in the off season. Boldin has been solid throughout his entire career and coming off of his first Super Bowl win with The Ravens should bring some veteran leadership to the squad. The 49ers also added some help in the secondary on their already powerful defense by signing Nnamdi Asomugha and Eric Wright during the offseason. So basically the 9ers are stacked and should be competing for another Super Bowl this year.
Seattle Seahawks (10-6)
Ever since Pete Carroll took over as the coach in Seattle, The Seahawks seem to get better every year and I expect the same from them again this season. They took a major hit with Percy Harvin going down before the season even started, no one is sure when he will be able to play this season but when they traded for him this offseason I felt he was the missing piece they needed to complete their team to take them to the next level. Which is really the only reason why I have them finishing second in their division to San Francisco because outside of that The Seahawks defense plays lights out, they have a great pass rush and even better secondary. The defense not only knocks the quarterbacks out, but have them scrambling for daylight and cause them to create stupid turnovers and that is just something you cannot let The Seahawks take advantage of. On offense they are set at quarterback with Russell Wilson, this dude’s arm is out of fucking control! He can bomb the ball downfield like no one in the league and it’s strong too, it’s not one of those Tim Tebow floaters that you just toss up and starts to fizzle out, Wilson will throw a bomb downfield and it’s strong, solid and on point! Not only does he have a great arm, but he can run and he’s smart, which is a combination of skills that are tough for any defense to defend and I think he will only get better this season.
Arizona Cardinals (7-9)
The Cardinals definitely improved by kicking Kevin Kolb’s ass to the curb and trading for Carson Palmer, but outside of that The Cardinals are still, The Cardinals. Lame, Terrible and Boring are three words that come to mind when I think of The Cardinals and things should be the same this year. I feel bad for Larry Fitzgerald because he was is one of the best, if not the best, receivers in the league and he’s been stuck playing for this horrible franchise. Patrick Peterson is another wasted talent on this team, but lucky for him he’s still young and can just play well for a shitty franchise in hopes of one day getting traded to a legitimate team or getting to go wherever he wants when he becomes a free agent. The Cardinals will be going nowhere as usual this year.
St. Louis Rams (3-13)
Who even plays for The Rams besides Sam Bradford?!?!? Get ready to see The Rams compete for the first pick in the draft this season because this team is going to be GOD AWFUL!
Denver Broncos (11-5)
The Broncos are starting the season off on the wrong foot, their starting center has been lost for the season and he didn’t even get to play one game, but the even bigger deal is that The Broncos starting linebacker, Von Miller, has been suspended for the first 6 games of the season. He is a beast on defense and he’s needed even more now that they lost Dumerville in the offseason. But luckily for The Broncos they have Peyton Manning at quarterback and now he has a new weapon in Wes Welker on offense, they drafted a solid running back, Montee Ball, also they are in probably the worst division in the league so this will help them get some easy wins and shouldn’t have a problem winning the division. Things will probably start off slow for The Broncos due to Miller’s suspension and having a tough schedule, but I still think this team is a legitimate Super Bowl contender.
San Diego Chargers (8-8)
For the past couple of seasons The Chargers have continued to regress and I expect the same this year too. Philip Rivers has no one to throw to on offense outside of Antonio Gates, the offensive line is horrible so Rivers will be on his ass or turning the ball over, the rushing attack is non existent and the defense is VERY suspect. Basically The Chargers are going to have a rough year.
Oakland Raiders (6-10)
Right now is the best time of the year for ALL Raiders fans because we all know that every Raiders fan is screaming at the top of their lungs “The Raiders are gonna win it all this year!” And then the rest of us just roll our eyes and laugh at the moronic Raider fans who act like their so fucking die hard when in reality they’re some of the worst fans out there! I mean shit EVERY one of their games for the past like MILLION years has been blacked out in local markets because their fans suck so bad they don’t even show up! Now granted the product they put on the field is horrible so it’s not like they have shit to cheer for, but HELLO being a fan means ALWAYS being a fan no matter how bad your team is, I mean I have to put up with Tony Romo for Christ sake and I’ve actually paid really good money to see that dumbshit fuck up my life!! But anyways I’m really just using this paragraph to talk about how dumb and stupid Raiders fans are because The Raiders will be going nowhere fast, but I’m sure will provide MANY great laughs for myself throughout the season!
Kansas City Chiefs (4-12)
Alex Smith sucks as bad as Matt Cassell, nothing has changed for this terrible team except for the fact that the food bill is up since Andy Reid is probably eating the entire stadium’s worth of food!
Sunday, August 18, 2013
NFL 2013 Season Predictions
Dallas Cowboys (10-6)
I know there is some obvious Cowboys fan bias with this prediction, but I don’t think this division is going to be that great so it shouldn’t be too hard for The Cowboys to win this division. I, unlike Jerry Jones, do not think The Cowboys are Super Bowl contenders, but that’s only because they have to actually show me something and prove it to me that they are legitimate, which they have not done in over 15 years! So excuse my pessimism but I can’t deny the facts! Now The Cowboys definitely improved this offseason by picking up some good free agents and draft picks, and also have decided to switch their defense to a 4-3 defense. I think the switch on defense will be the biggest improvement for The Cowboys because they have a strong and deep Linebacking core and Demarcus Ware is going back to his original position of Defensive end and also has gained 10 lbs of muscle and looks like a straight beast! I think Demarcus will have his best year ever and not only be a defensive MVP candidate but take this defense to another level with the help of an improved secondary and turn this defense into one of the best in the league. They still didn’t really take care of the offensive line, the rookie center will definitely help, but outside of that there really won’t be much protection for Romo. If The Cowboys can stay healthy and keep their stupid plays to a minimum (which is tough especially when Tony Romo is your quarterback) then they should contend this year for the playoffs and win the mediocre division.
Washington Redskins (9-7)
The Redskins did just about nothing this offseason to improve their team. RGIII is returning from a major knee injury, but also coming off of a phenomenal rookie season. Don’t get me wrong I think RGIII is a good quarterback and definitely the future of The Redskins, but I don’t think they are going to be that great of a team this year. For one they are very weak at the wide receiver position, no one really stands out besides Garcon and he isn’t that amazing of a receiver that he’s going to carry the load offensively. On defense they will be getting Orakpo back, which is huge because he is a beast, but outside of him the defense is pretty much old and washed up. I have a feeling RGIII may suffer a sophomore slump this year, but it won’t be all his fault since this team looks mediocre at best to me.
New York Giants (7-9)
The Giants lost more this offseason than any other team, Osi Umenyiora one of their defensive standouts for the past few seasons has left and is now in Atlanta, they have a bunch of nobody scrubs in the backfield, and the offensive line is weak. Eli Manning still has two stud receivers to throw to in Cruz and Nicks, but outside of that The Giants will be pretty mediocre this year. They aren’t a threat on defense now that they have lost a step in the pass rush and have no running game or offensive line to get anything going on offense. I think The Giants will have an up and down season and will go nowhere and Eli will have that stupid “aww schucks mom” look on his face every game because he’s gonna be on his ass A LOT!
Philadelphia Eagles (6-10)
The Eagles are another team that basically accomplished nothing this off season. But you won’t hear me crying about that since The Eagles make me want to absolutely vomit! I love watching The Eagles suck and I have a feeling this is going to be a horrible season for them! They have nothing going on defense and on offense all they have is Michael Vick and LeSean McCoy and while they are both talented players they suffer so many injuries throughout the season because they are the only guys out there doing anything. The Eagles will suck this year and it’s going to be great!
New England Patriots (11-5)
Even with all the off season drama The Patriots have had surrounding them I don’t think it will affect their play on the field this season in a negative way. They did lose Wes Welker but The Patriots are known for letting big name players walk away and still bouncing back and finding another guy to step up and replace them and oh yeah they have some guy who plays quarterback named Tom Brady. As long as that guy is around and Bill Belichick is their coach they will always be contenders and they are also in one of the worst divsions so they should get a few big wins due to the crappiness of their division opponents.
Buffalo Bills (8-8)
There really isn’t anything great to say about The Bills, they are a team in rebuilding mode with a bunch of inexperienced guys on the team. Kevin Kolb is horrible so they will probably waste the first half of the season with him at quarterback then finally figure out that even though EJ Manuel is a rookie he can’t be worse than the suck bag Kolb. The Bills suck…THE END!
Miami Dolphins (6-10)
And as much as The Bills suck, The Dolphins are that much worse! The Dolphins are terrible and yes they improved by signing Mike Wallace this offseason but outside of him where is this shitty offense going? And who do they even have on defense? I am literally staring at their roster on the defensive side right now saying to myself “who the fuck is this fool?” The Dolphins suck they should get their asses beat in almost every game they play this season.
New York Jets (4-12)
The Jets quarterback choices are between Mark Sanchez and Geno Smith….NUFF SAID!