Wednesday, August 31, 2016
Dallas Cowboys (10-6) As a Cowboys fan all we do these days is hold our breath while we wait for Tony Romo to once again get injured and dash all of our dreams! Well guess what, the regular season hasn’t even begun and home boy will be missing the beginning of the regular season. Now the good thing is this happened before the season started so there is time to prepare and plan with a different quarterback. Dak Prescott has been very impressive this preseason and I know it’s only preseason and I’m not about to crown this dude the second coming of Roger Staubach, but he has shown he has the potential to be a good quarterback and he has his choice of weapons around him on offense. The defense is very suspect, I have a feeling the Cowboys will need to rely heavily on the offense to score because the defense is going to have troubles stopping their opponents from scoring. Luckily for the Cowboys they are in a horrible division and I feel this will work in their favor to sneak into the playoffs.
Washington Redskins (9-7) The Redskins are now all in on their quarterback Kirk Cousins. They didn’t lock him in for a long term deal and I think that goes to show that they don’t have a lot of confidence in him. Offensively what do the Redskins have going on? Desean Jackson? Let’s see if he can not get injured for once and even if he doesn’t who else do they have? What about on defense? Way to go Redskins to once again overspend on Josh Norman a dude who has had one good season and you just throw the dollars at him. That strategy hasn’t worked out for the Redskins over the years and I have a feeling this trend will continue with Josh Norman. To top it off he’s really all they have on defense and it’s going to be tough for him to make any big plays with no pass rush. The Redskins will make a few teams sweat and work for their wins, but overall I don’t see them as any major threat this season.
New York Giants (7-9) The New York Giants are such a shit show of a team right now. The only good thing about this team is Odell Beckham Jr. and he isn’t going to be the savior of this team because there are way too many holes on offense and defense. Let’s first talk about how they have absolutely NO ground game to speak of and even if they did this offensive line couldn’t block me! Now let’s talk about the defense and how it will be led by the nobody squad this year! I just looked over the defensive roster and couldn’t stop laughing because who are these fools?! I have a feeling that’s a question we will all be asking throughout the season while watching the VaGiants get their asses beat. I have a feeling the dumb founded “Aww Shucks” Eli Manning face will be in full force all season long!
Philadelphia Eagles (4-12) This is going to be an awesome year if you hate the Eagles just as much as I do! Sam Bradford is their starting quarterback, that in itself is a hilarious joke! Even if he some how manages not to injure himself this season he’s still a mediocre quarterback at best! He’s such a creeper too, seriously watch him when he talks to the camera, his eyes get bigger and bigger like he’s on crack or something. There really aren’t many positive things to say about the Eagles except I have a feeling they will be pretty good at losing this season!
New England Patriots (11-5) Now that this idiotic Deflategate debacle is over with Tom Brady can begin his joke of a suspension. What sucks for the rest of the league and for Patriots haters like myself is that when Tommy boy gets back from suspension he’s going to be pretty pissed off and Tom Brady always plays well when pissed off! During the offseason the Patriots did what they always do, made a couple moves and have improved in the areas of weakness from the previous season. They bolstered their offense with the addition of Martellus Bennett, he’s a very athletic tight end who should fit right in with the Patriots offense. The defense is still a bit suspect, but it’s tough to count the Patriots out when they have Bill Belichick as their coach and Tom Brady as their quarterback. Even with Tom Brady missing out on the first four games of the season, I still think they will play well without him because that’s just how they do. No excuses, just do your job!
New York Jets (9-7) The Jets spent the entire off season in a contract battle with the starting quarterback Ryan Fitzpatrick. It led all the way up until training camp and usually that kind of drama carries on into the regular season. To top it off the dude is just a mediocre quarterback so it’s not like he was going to carry this team to the Super Bowl anyways! The Jets will be one of those teams who will upset a few teams along the way, but for the most part will be fairly mediocre. The most interesting thing to even discuss about the Jets is what is going on with Ryan Fitzpatrick’s hair and facial hair, so that should tell you that not much is going on with this team.
Miami Dolphins (8-8) Mediocrity is the Miami Dolphins mantra…at least they are consistent with something!
Buffalo Bills (6-10) All the Bills have going for them is Rex Ryan’s big fat mouth. Don’t get me wrong he can be entertaining at times, but when your team consistently sucks every year maybe you should just shut up and coach! I doubt he’s going to take that advice, even if he does though his team is pretty awful and they will be going nowhere fast!