NFL 2013 Season Predictions
NFC East
Dallas Cowboys (10-6)
I know there is some
obvious Cowboys fan bias with this prediction, but I don’t think this division
is going to be that great so it shouldn’t be too hard for The Cowboys to win
this division. I, unlike Jerry Jones, do not think The Cowboys are Super Bowl contenders,
but that’s only because they have to actually show me something and prove it to
me that they are legitimate, which they have not done in over 15 years! So
excuse my pessimism but I can’t deny the facts! Now The Cowboys definitely
improved this offseason by picking up some good free agents and draft picks,
and also have decided to switch their defense to a 4-3 defense. I think the
switch on defense will be the biggest improvement for The Cowboys because they
have a strong and deep Linebacking core and Demarcus Ware is going back to his
original position of Defensive end and also has gained 10 lbs of muscle and
looks like a straight beast! I think Demarcus will have his best year ever and
not only be a defensive MVP candidate but take this defense to another level
with the help of an improved secondary and turn this defense into one of the
best in the league. They still didn’t really take care of the offensive line,
the rookie center will definitely help, but outside of that there really won’t
be much protection for Romo. If The Cowboys can stay healthy and keep their
stupid plays to a minimum (which is tough especially when Tony Romo is your
quarterback) then they should contend this year for the playoffs and win the
mediocre division.
Washington Redskins (9-7)
The Redskins did just
about nothing this offseason to improve their team. RGIII is returning from a
major knee injury, but also coming off of a phenomenal rookie season. Don’t get
me wrong I think RGIII is a good quarterback and definitely the future of The
Redskins, but I don’t think they are going to be that great of a team this
year. For one they are very weak at the wide receiver position, no one really
stands out besides Garcon and he isn’t that amazing of a receiver that he’s
going to carry the load offensively. On defense they will be getting Orakpo
back, which is huge because he is a beast, but outside of him the defense is
pretty much old and washed up. I have a feeling RGIII may suffer a sophomore
slump this year, but it won’t be all his fault since this team looks mediocre
at best to me.
New York Giants (7-9)
The Giants lost more
this offseason than any other team, Osi Umenyiora one of their defensive
standouts for the past few seasons has left and is now in Atlanta, they have a
bunch of nobody scrubs in the backfield, and the offensive line is weak. Eli
Manning still has two stud receivers to throw to in Cruz and Nicks, but outside
of that The Giants will be pretty mediocre this year. They aren’t a threat on
defense now that they have lost a step in the pass rush and have no running
game or offensive line to get anything going on offense. I think The Giants
will have an up and down season and will go nowhere and Eli will have that
stupid “aww schucks mom” look on his face every game because he’s gonna be on
his ass A LOT!
Philadelphia Eagles (6-10)
The Eagles are
another team that basically accomplished nothing this off season. But you won’t
hear me crying about that since The Eagles make me want to absolutely vomit! I
love watching The Eagles suck and I have a feeling this is going to be a
horrible season for them! They have nothing going on defense and on offense all
they have is Michael Vick and LeSean McCoy and while they are both talented
players they suffer so many injuries throughout the season because they are the
only guys out there doing anything. The Eagles will suck this year and it’s
going to be great!
AFC East
New England Patriots (11-5)
Even with all the off
season drama The Patriots have had surrounding them I don’t think it will
affect their play on the field this season in a negative way. They did lose Wes
Welker but The Patriots are known for letting big name players walk away and
still bouncing back and finding another guy to step up and replace them and oh
yeah they have some guy who plays quarterback named Tom Brady. As long as that
guy is around and Bill Belichick is their coach they will always be contenders
and they are also in one of the worst divsions so they should get a few big
wins due to the crappiness of their division opponents.
Buffalo Bills (8-8)
There really isn’t
anything great to say about The Bills, they are a team in rebuilding mode with
a bunch of inexperienced guys on the team. Kevin Kolb is horrible so they will
probably waste the first half of the season with him at quarterback then
finally figure out that even though EJ Manuel is a rookie he can’t be worse
than the suck bag Kolb. The Bills suck…THE END!
Miami Dolphins (6-10)
And as much as The
Bills suck, The Dolphins are that much worse! The Dolphins are terrible and yes
they improved by signing Mike Wallace this offseason but outside of him where
is this shitty offense going? And who do they even have on defense? I am
literally staring at their roster on the defensive side right now saying to
myself “who the fuck is this fool?” The Dolphins suck they should get their
asses beat in almost every game they play this season.
New York Jets (4-12)
The Jets quarterback
choices are between Mark Sanchez and Geno Smith….NUFF SAID!
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