2015 NFL Season Predictions
NFC East
Dallas Cowboys (12-4)
YES…I know I have
high expectations for my team this year, but guess what….they actually have a
legitimate team this year and have the benefit of a GOD AWFUL division! This is
the first offseason in YEARS that Tony Romo is not coming off of some horrible
injury or surgery, he will finally start off a season completely healthy with a
high powered offense at his command. We locked Dez Bryant in so I’m looking for
him to continue what he’s been doing since the day the Cowboys drafted him and
that’s make big plays! Ol’ Reliable Jason Witten is still there along with that
stacked offensive line. Even if somebody gets hurt (which will more than likely
happen) they have depth on the line and that’s why they decided to let DeMarco
go in the offseason. DeMarco was a good player, but that offensive line can
open up some holes even for the most mediocre of running backs. Am I saying
Darren McFadden will be the almighty savior?? No, of course not. But the
Cowboys have plenty of weapons and depth on offense, I am not worried about
that side of the ball. On the defensive side the Cowboys made some big
improvements starting with the pass rush. In the draft they lucked out and
Randy Gregory fell to them, I think this dude is the future of the franchise on
the defense along with last years pick Demarcus Lawrence. Greg Hardy was the
big free agent signing of the offseason. He will miss the first four games due
to suspension, but once he gets on the field this defense will become that much
more dominant. Every quarterback they face better have his head on a swivel
because if one of these guys doesn’t get him the other one will be right there
in his face and I haven’t even got to the linebackers yet!! The secondary is
going to be the big question mark this season, especially now that Orlando
Scandrick has been lost for the season with a torn ACL and MCL. Overall the
Cowboys are looking good from top to bottom and should be one of the dominant
teams in the NFC.
New York Giants (9-7)
On offense the Giants
should be able to make some big time plays with Victor Cruz and Odell Beckham
Jr., but outside of that what’s going on with this team? They have Nobody Jones
as their starting running back and a shoddy offensive line. On the defensive
side of the ball their star player is now missing a finger and has yet to even
report to practice, so what can we expect from this defense? Well I know one
thing is for sure…we should see that dumbfounded look on Eli’s face more than
usual this season!
Philadelphia Eagles (7-9)
My favorite thing
about when a moderately successful coach comes in he thinks he’s gonna stroll
on through the big bad NFL and change the way the game is played! Well guess
what Chip Kelly you are next on this merry-go round of stupid! He has
completely recreated this team, is that a bad thing? No not usually, but he got
rid of all his worthwhile players. But whatever this just creates all the more
fun for a fellow Eagles hater like myself! Who knows who the quarterback is?
What about their running back? Quick name their starting wide receiver? Who
will dominate this defense of finesse? These are all questions that will be
answered at some point this season, but until then Chip Kelly will continue to
make no sense! Also fuck you dude for bringing back Tim Tebow…nobody was asking
for that bitch to come back! He hasn’t improved at all, still looks like a
burning dumpster fire to me!
Washington Redskins (4-12)
What is there really
to say about this team except for…..THEY SUCK!!!!! This will be a great year if
you hate the Redskins as much as I do. It should be a total laughfest with
Robert Griffin III continuing his descent into backupsville and it doesn’t help
that his offensive line couldn’t block me! All I’m saying is this is going to
be a LOOOOONNNGGGG season for dem Redskin fans!
AFC East
New England Patriots (10-6)
Whether Tom Brady’s
suspension is upheld or not doesn’t really play into my analysis of this team.
Honestly, the Patriots aren’t that great of a team going into this season. They
lost a lot of players on defense and don’t really have much outside of Gronk
and Tommy girl on the offense. They do have the benefit of being in a weak
division, which will help them not only get wins, but also help get them a
playoff spot!
Miami Dolphins (8-8)
It would be nice to
think that at least one team in this sorry ass division could compete with the
Patriots, but unfortunately the Dolphins don’t have the glue to hold together
this team. They have the parts and the signing of Ndamukong Suh this offseason
was huge, but they have a weak ass coach and not a lot of talent on offense.
There isn’t anything about this team that leads me to believe they are even
ready to compete for the playoffs right now.
Buffalo Bills (7-9)
The defense will help
keep the Bills heads above water…the offense is going to be the anchor holding
them down! It’s going to be an exciting season full of mediocrity in Buffalo!!
New York Jets (5-11)
Nothing is going on
with this team outside of new stupid headlines for the idiotic New York
media…expect the entire season to continue on with that trend!
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