NFC East
Dallas Cowboys
(10-6) As a Cowboys fan all we do
these days is hold our breath while we wait for Tony Romo to once again get
injured and dash all of our dreams! Well guess what, the regular season hasn’t
even begun and home boy will be missing the beginning of the regular season.
Now the good thing is this happened before the season started so there is time
to prepare and plan with a different quarterback. Dak Prescott has been very
impressive this preseason and I know it’s only preseason and I’m not about to
crown this dude the second coming of Roger Staubach, but he has shown he has
the potential to be a good quarterback and he has his choice of weapons around
him on offense. The defense is very suspect, I have a feeling the Cowboys will
need to rely heavily on the offense to score because the defense is going to
have troubles stopping their opponents from scoring. Luckily for the Cowboys
they are in a horrible division and I feel this will work in their favor to
sneak into the playoffs.
Washington
Redskins (9-7) The Redskins
are now all in on their quarterback Kirk Cousins. They didn’t lock him in for a
long term deal and I think that goes to show that they don’t have a lot of
confidence in him. Offensively what do the Redskins have going on? Desean
Jackson? Let’s see if he can not get injured for once and even if he doesn’t
who else do they have? What about on defense? Way to go Redskins to once again
overspend on Josh Norman a dude who has had one good season and you just throw
the dollars at him. That strategy hasn’t worked out for the Redskins over the
years and I have a feeling this trend will continue with Josh Norman. To top it
off he’s really all they have on defense and it’s going to be tough for him to
make any big plays with no pass rush. The Redskins will make a few teams sweat
and work for their wins, but overall I don’t see them as any major threat this
season.
New York Giants
(7-9) The New York Giants are such a
shit show of a team right now. The only good thing about this team is Odell
Beckham Jr. and he isn’t going to be the savior of this team because there are way too many holes on offense and
defense. Let’s first talk about how they have absolutely NO ground game to
speak of and even if they did this offensive line couldn’t block me! Now let’s
talk about the defense and how it will be led by the nobody squad this year! I
just looked over the defensive roster and couldn’t stop laughing because who
are these fools?! I have a feeling that’s a question we will all be asking
throughout the season while watching the VaGiants get their asses beat. I have
a feeling the dumb founded “Aww Shucks” Eli Manning face will be in full force
all season long!
Philadelphia
Eagles (4-12) This is going
to be an awesome year if you hate the Eagles just as much as I do! Sam Bradford
is their starting quarterback, that in itself is a hilarious joke! Even if he
some how manages not to injure himself this season he’s still a mediocre
quarterback at best! He’s such a creeper too, seriously watch him when he talks
to the camera, his eyes get bigger and bigger like he’s on crack or something.
There really aren’t many positive things to say about the Eagles except I have
a feeling they will be pretty good at losing this season!
AFC East
New England
Patriots (11-5) Now that this
idiotic Deflategate debacle is over with Tom Brady can begin his joke of a
suspension. What sucks for the rest of the league and for Patriots haters like
myself is that when Tommy boy gets back from suspension he’s going to be pretty
pissed off and Tom Brady always plays well when pissed off! During the
offseason the Patriots did what they always do, made a couple moves and have
improved in the areas of weakness from the previous season. They bolstered
their offense with the addition of Martellus Bennett, he’s a very athletic
tight end who should fit right in with the Patriots offense. The defense is
still a bit suspect, but it’s tough to count the Patriots out when they have
Bill Belichick as their coach and Tom Brady as their quarterback. Even with Tom
Brady missing out on the first four games of the season, I still think they
will play well without him because that’s just how they do. No excuses, just do
your job!
New York Jets
(9-7) The Jets spent the entire
off season in a contract battle with the starting quarterback Ryan Fitzpatrick.
It led all the way up until training camp and usually that kind of drama
carries on into the regular season. To top it off the dude is just a mediocre
quarterback so it’s not like he was going to carry this team to the Super Bowl
anyways! The Jets will be one of those teams who will upset a few teams along
the way, but for the most part will be fairly mediocre. The most interesting
thing to even discuss about the Jets is what is going on with Ryan
Fitzpatrick’s hair and facial hair, so that should tell you that not much is
going on with this team.
Miami Dolphins
(8-8) Mediocrity is the Miami
Dolphins mantra…at least they are consistent with something!
Buffalo Bills
(6-10) All the Bills have
going for them is Rex Ryan’s big fat mouth. Don’t get me wrong he can be
entertaining at times, but when your team consistently sucks every year maybe
you should just shut up and coach! I doubt he’s going to take that advice, even
if he does though his team is pretty awful and they will be going nowhere fast!
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