Bowl Predictions

Holiday Bowl

Cal Vs Texas

Obviously this is not a BCS Bowl game, but since The Longhorns are my fave team I gotta give my thoughts on this matchup! The Longhorns had a disappointing season that's why they're playing the weak ass Holiday Bowl, but it's a definite improvement over last year! The Longhorns major weakness this season was at quarterback. All season they juggled between three quarterbacks and none of them were that impressive. Case McCoy was the best of the three, but he has a lot to work on! Cal also had a mediocre season, not that they've ever really been that good but they have had better seasons. I think The Longhorns defense will be what gives them the edge in this matchup. They get at the opposing quarterback and are able to create turnovers. I really don't think The Longhorns are going to have any trouble with Cal.

Texas over Cal 35-17

Rose Bowl

Wisconsin Vs Oregon

This is going to be one of the best matchups in all of the bowl games this year! These are two evenly matched teams that play solid defense and are lights out on offense. Oregon's offense is led by LaMichael James who is a beast of a running back, their quarterback Darron Thomas has also had a stellar year by passing for 30 touchdowns and only 6 interceptions. Wisconsin also has a sick duo on offense, Russell Wilson has passed for 31 touchdowns, ran in 6 and only has 3 interceptions! They also have a Heisman nominated running back in Montee Ball who rushed for 1,759 yards and 32 touchdowns, so there should be nothing but offense in this matchup! Oregon has been somewhat of a disappointment this season where as Wisconsin has stepped up in big games and I think that gives Wisconsin the edge in this matchup.

Wisconsin over Oregon 55-51

Fiesta Bowl

Stanford Vs Oklahoma State

Oklahoma State had a great season, one of their best ever and actually made a case to play for the National Title, but fell short. Their only loss this season was at Iowa St in overtime, it was their only game they did not dominate other than that they absolutely owned everybody they played and were unstoppable on offense! They scored over 50 points in 6 of their games, that's pretty impressive!Stanford was an early National Title favorite, but also came up short due to their one loss for the second season in a row to Oregon, which also cost them a shot at the Pac 12 title. Stanford overall is a solid team on offense and defense and have a leader in Andrew Luck and I believe that will be the edge in this matchup. Oklahoma St has a ton of weapons on offense but I think they will fall short against the experienced Stanford squad. Oklahoma St should make it an interesting game, but Stanford will get the win in the end.

Stanford over Oklahoma St 41-30

Sugar Bowl

Michigan Vs Virginia Tech

Michigan has had a great season under their first year coach Brady Hoke, he has Michigan back up to their winning ways and has them back in a BCS Bowl game! Michigan is led by the versatile quarterback Denard Robinson who has been making big plays over the last couple of seasons through the air and on the ground. He makes smart plays and is trust worthy in the clutch moments. Virginia Tech is also coming off of a great season, their only two losses this season were to the same team, Clemson. Both of these teams matchup well against eachother so it should be fun to watch, Logan Thomas the quarterback of Virginia Tech is very similar to Robinson scoring through the air and on the ground. Both of these teams have played in very close matchups and I expect the same in this one, back and fourth scoring up until the last minute. I give the edge to Michigan because I think they have a better defense that is capable of making the big play when they need to.

Michigan over Virginia Tech 31-30

Orange Bowl

West Virginia Vs Clemson

This will probably end up being the only runaway bowl game. I don't believe West Virginia is even close to Clemson's level. Clemson has faced much tougher opponents and beaten them, where as West Virginia has just skated by in a weak ass division. I don't think this game will be close, Clemson has too many weapons for West Virginia to stop!

Clemson over West Virginia 41-10

Cotton Bowl

Kansas St Vs Arkansas

This matchup is going to be nothing but offense. These are two of the highest scoring teams in the nation, so it should be fun to watch! Kansas St came out of nowhere this season led by their versatile quarterback who can not only get points through the air but also on the ground, he actually has more rushing touchdowns than passing touchdowns! Arkansas has a balanced offense with a ton of weapons, they can score points in many different ways, with a lot of different players. I think overall Arkansas is a better team and will get the win.

Arkansas over Kansas St 41-31

National Championship

Alabama Vs LSU

When these two teams faced off earlier this season it was one of the most boring games of all time! I really hope this one is better. These were definitely the two best teams in college football and they deserve to be playing for a National Title. LSU has played through a lot of adversity this year, they had quite a few of their top players suspended at different times during the season and they still whooped everybodies ass! Alabama has played well all season with their only loss being to LSU in their closest and toughest game of the year. They have a solid defense and their running back Trent Richardson has been carrying the offense! But I don't think LSU can be stopped this year, they are on fire and have played some great football from start to finish. Their defense creates nothing but turnovers and their offense does nothing but score. This should be a close, hard fought game between two great teams, but I give the edge to LSU.

LSU Over Alabama 24-21

Fuck You Lockouts!

For the first time in my adult life a lockout fucked with not one, but two of my favorite sports! I don't count the baseball strike in 94-95 because I was only 9 years old and really didn't give a rats ass about baseball it was ALL about football, the BEST sport EVER! It seems like for months on Sportscenter all I have seen are stories about the percentage of this money, the owners want this, the players want that, we're suing eachother, and crappy stupid countdown clocks keeping track of how many days we have been without football and basketball, but thank God this is finally over!

The NFL lockout fortunately didn't create any delays in the regular season, but the off season was absolutely ripped away from us! And I don't care how stupid and sports obsessed I sound, I care about the off season as much as the mother fucking regular season! It matters just as much even though no games are being played. The draft was effected by it because no players could be traded for picks, free agency was all messed up because everybody had to scramble for players they wanted to sign, and you can tell it has taken a toll on the players because of all the injuries this season! I swear every week there is a new major injury to some big time player and it can't help but make me think what would have happened had there not been a moronic lockout and all these guys were practicing on a regular basis?

The NBA lockout was absolutely rotten, I honestly thought I was never going to get to see any basketball played this year the way things were going. When they canceled the preseason I started to get worried, when they canceled the first 2 weeks of the season I was pissed, and then when they just kept on canceling games the more the hopes of seeing my man Kobe Bryant go off this season were starting to look slim! But finally some how the owners and players came to an agreement and we are finally going to get to see some basketball! A shorter season unfortunately but hey it's better than nothing! It will be interesting to see how the lockout effects the season in other ways, such as injuries, the free agent market, trades, and new coaches trying to get their system implemented into their new teams. I have a feeling this season will start off slow for the majority of the teams and it will be a tough battle up until the playoffs in both conferences, there probably won't be a strong front runner team until it gets closer to the end of the regular season. But there are already tons of story lines for the upcoming season, obviously first off is how are The Dallas Mavericks going to defend their title? Will they be one hit wonders and flop or will they come back and dominate The NBA again? What about “The Big 3” what's girlfriend Lebron gonna do this year? Choke....? Probably, that's what Lebron does best, but hey I'm just glad basketball is back so I can go back to laughing at his failures like the cunt I am HAHA! I am going to enjoy watching them not get a ring AGAIN this year! What about my Lakers they got a new coach in Mike Brown who knows how they are going to look in a completely different system! And get ready to hear nothing but trade rumors and new team destinations for both Chris Paul and Dwight Howard! Both of them are in the final year of their contracts so they are the next big guys on the move and it won't surprise me if both players are on new teams by the trade deadline. There are many storylines in the NBA this year and I cannot wait to see what happens!

I really hope all these owners and players can keep the peace in ALL of my sports because if I ever have to go through another lockout its possible I could slit someones throat! My life is sports and I don't want to see countdown clocks on Sportscenter saying how many days we have been stuck in a lockout. I'd rather see Lebron James choke hard in the playoffs, or see Kobe Bryant hit the game winning shot, or see The Lakers win their 17^th Championship, and you know I'm dying to see The Cowboys finally win another Super Bowl! Whatever is going on with sports good or bad, it's better than a mother fucking lockout!

2011 MLB End of Year Breakdown

Just so you know I had this shit done weeks ago I was just waiting on Major League Baseball to take their sweet ass time handing out the end of the year awards!!

World Series

First of all Congrats to The St. Louis Cardinals on winning their 11^th Championship for their franchise this seasons World Series was by far one of the best I have ever seen in my lifetime and it didn't even involve one of my favorite teams! The Cardinals fought hard and put it all together at the end of the season to get into the playoffs by getting the wildcard spot on the last game of the season, then beat out The Phillies and Brewers, who everybody assumed would just walk all over them, then they get into The World Series and win one of the most exciting matchups! David Freese ended up not only winning the NLCS MVP, but also The World Series MVP, he stepped up big when his team needed him and became the unsung hero in this stacked lineup. Albert Pujols also had a historic Game 3 going 5-6, 3 HR's and 6 RBIs, the rest of the series he wasn't as involved but he got the hits when his team needed them. If The Cardinals do not resign him this offseason than they are absolute morons! Tony LaRussa retiring after this World Series is a great way for a great manager to leave the game, on top! Congrats to Tony LaRussa on a great career. The Rangers had a good run but I figured their pitching staff would let them down in the end, if they get some help with their pitching this off season they will probably end up back in the playoffs next year.

San Francisco Giants

Since The San Francisco Giants are my favorite team I gotta break down their season! They started off hot, but the injuries slowly started to take a toll. It seemed that whenever they got someone back, another guy would be put on the DL. The starting pitching was dominant, but if you have nobody driving in any runs it's tough to get the wins! What The Giants need to do this off season is get a power hitter and there will be a lot of good guys available to them this off season, it all just depends on what they are willing to spend. Their pitching staff is solid from starters, to bullpen, to closer so I'm not worried about pitching at all, but they need some help with the offense. If they can sign a guy like Prince Fielder or Albert Pujols that would be great, even signing the injury prone Carlos Beltran or Jose Reyes would be an upgrade. But we'll see how it goes The Giants aren't known for going out their and spending a lot of money on one guy, unless it's on some loser named Barry Zito!

New York Yankees

Since The Yankees are my second favorite team in baseball I gotta break down their season too! The Yankees had a pretty mediocre season in my opinion their poor pitching and injuries killed them throughout the regular season. It was nice to see Derek Jeter get the 3,000^th hit of his career and Mariano Rivera becoming the all time saves leader, but other than that it wasn't a great season. Curtis Granderson had the season of his life he had 41 homeruns, 119 RBI and had a batting average of .262, he also played some great defense in the outfield into the playoffs. Mark Teixeira also had a monster season with 39 homeruns, 111 RBI's and batted a .248, but those were the only two consistent guys in the lineup and even Teixeira played like garbage in the playoffs. The Yankees need some starting pitching and BAD! They got Sabathia locked in, which was exactly what they needed to do and Ivan Nova was definitely a nice surprise and looks to be a solid starter, but beyond that they don't have anybody reliable. AJ Burnett has got to go this guy has been an overrated sack of garbage since he's signed on with The Yankees and Phil Hughes is also weak it seems like he always ends up on the DL with a busted vagina or some shit!

Quickhits

• I loved watching the epic collapse of The Red Sox! They were in first place and then everything just came crashing down around them! Nothing makes me smile wider than The Red Sox losing HARD! Carl Crawford was their big acquisition in the off season and he played like garbage! Jonathan Papelbon seems to have lost his edge as a closer and their starting pitching seemed to get worse each and every game. The Red Sox will be an entirely different team next year with all the changes they have made and will continue to make, but I thank them for giving me a good laugh this year!

• The Dodgers misfortunes were also hilarious to watch! Frank McCourt's divorce has started to fuck with the franchise and now he is being forced to sell the team finally! But it was a distraction all season long and The Dodgers had a pretty awful season for the most part. Matt Kemp had an amazing season but other than that The Dodgers sucked and that's the way I like it!

• The Playoffs overall were fun to watch. After the Wild Card Round ended and My Yankees were kicked out I didn't like or hate any of the remaining teams so I just got to enjoy all the baseball being played and all the great games.

NL Rookie of the Year: Craig Kimbrel

The Atlanta Braves closer won The NL Rookie of the Year award in a unanimous decision. Well deserved too he set the rookie record for most saves in a season with 46.

AL Rookie Of the Year: Jeremy Hellickson

The Tampa Bay Rays starting pitcher was big reason why they ended up making the playoffs. He went 13-10 with a 2.95 ERA, but in my opinion Mark Trumbo of the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim should have won the award. I think Trumbo had a much more outstanding season even though his team missed the playoffs.

NL Cy Young Award: Clayton Kershaw

Kershaw was literally one of two or three brightspots for The Dodgers this season. He went 21-5, had a 2.28 ERA and 248 strikeouts. I'm usually against players winning the big awards when their team doesn't even come close to making the playoffs, but when you own pretty much every pitching category it's hard to vote against you. Even if you play for The Dodgers!

AL Cy Young Award: Justin Verlander

The Detroit Tigers pitcher was a unanimous decision for the AL Cy Young Award and he absolutely deserves it. No pitcher was as consistent as he was this season. He went 24-5, which led the majors, 250 strikeouts, which led the majors, and a 2.40 ERA. He had a no hitter this year (his second of his career), also won 12 straight starts to get his team into playoff position and had 4 complete games.

NL Manager of the Year: Kirk Gibson

The Diamondbacks had a breakout year, they started off slow but managed to absolutely dominate the NL West and that is thanks to their manager. They played smart baseball, great defense, solid pitching and great hitting.

AL Manager of the Year: Joe Maddon

The Rays started the season off like shit, they were at the bottom of a division dominated by the Yankees and Red Sox, then got red hot during the second half of the season. The Red Sox did help them out by choking hard, but they didn't let up no matter how far out they were and that's a credit to their manager.

NL MVP: Ryan Braun

The Brewers outfielder had a great season and helped The Brewers have one of their best seasons in a long time! Braun hit 33 homeruns, 111 RBI, 33 stolen bases, batted a .332 avg and had a .597 slug pct! On top of that The Brewers won their division for the first time in decades and had a good playoff run and that was because Braun had such a great season.

AL MVP: Justin Verlander

This is the first time since 1986 that a pitcher has won the MVP award so that tells you a lot about the season Verlander had. Verlander did have a spectacular season for a pitcher and he was most definitely the Most Valuable Player for The Detroit Tigers, but I don't know if I would say he was the MVP of the league. Pitchers aren't out there playing everyday like the rest of the guys, hell they may only pitch once in a fucking week, but I'll give Verlander his props he had a great season and helped carry his team into the playoffs.

2011 World Series Predictions

KT Division Series Record: 1-3 (Turrible)

KT Championship Series Record: 0-2 (Holler!)

2011 World Series

Texas Rangers Vs St. Louis Cardinals

The Cardinals are playing exactly like The Giants did last year when they won The World Series. They had a subpar season but managed to get the last playoff spot on the last day of the season, they have solid starting pitching and a deep bullpen, and their batting lineup has been scoring a ton of runs lately. The Rangers have picked up where they left off last year and have been out scoring everybody on their way back to The World Series, even without dominant pitching. Nelson Cruz has been a beast now that he's healthy and has been carrying this team throughout the playoffs. The Cardinals have a big edge though and his name is Albert Pujols, he is the best player in the league on offense and defense and has been on fire since he is healthy again. He is also in the final year of his contract and is set to be a free agent next year those are always some of the best years of a players career, he has been huge in the playoffs so far and will be hard for The Rangers pitchers to pitch around. He isn't the only threat in the lineup though, Matt Holliday has always been reliable throughout his career, he has been battling through injuries but has played well when needed, Lance Berkman signed as a free agent and has had an awesome season batting .301 with 31 home runs and 94 RBI's, and David Freese who ended up being the NLCS MVP out of all that talent in their lineup! Like I've been saying throughout the playoffs The Rangers not having a solid pitching staff is going to bite them in the ass at some point and The Cardinals have been playing some great baseball at the best time of the year to be doing so. And unlike The Rangers, The Cardinals have some good pitching from starters to bullpen.

Cardinals over Rangers in 6 Games

2011 ALCS & NLCS Predictions

KT Division Series Record: 1-3 (turrible)

MLB 2011 ALCS & NLCS Predictions

ALCS

Detroit Tigers Vs Texas Rangers

This is going to be a fun matchup to watch, both of these teams are pretty much the same. They have strong batting lineups that can score a ton of points, but the funny thing is during the regular season they didn't score much on eachother. The Tigers pretty much owned The Rangers this season, they went 6-3 in the season series, they took the series all three times they faced eachother and it's because their pitching is slightly better. Justin Verlander leads the pitching staff and has had a great season so far, Max Scherzer has come out of nowhere and had a good season, and the bullpen has dominated all year and they played a huge role in why they beat The Yankees in the division series. Eventually The Rangers mediocre pitching is going to catch up to them and I think The Tigers will take care of them and move onto The World Series.

Tigers over Rangers in 6 Games

NLCS

St. Louis Cardinals Vs Milwaukee Brewers

These teams have been battling it out all season long, their season record against eachother is 9-9 so this should be a hard fought series to the end. They have been at eachother not only on the field but these two teams really hate eachother, everytime they play eachother something happens. The Cardinals have been a team on fire for the last month and a half and are finally playing the way they expected to at the start, but injuries took a toll on them throughout most of the season. Their pitching staff has finally got it together as well, Carpenter started off slow but is back to his old form, they traded for Edwin Jackson in the middle of the season has been playing very well ever since, and the bullpen has been holding it down for them when they need them. The Brewers have remained consistent all season long, strong pitching with a great batting lineup. They not only have power hitters who can knock the ball out of the park, but also guys who can get on base and steal bases. They play smart baseball and they will really need it in this series. I haven't been too sure about The Brewers this year, but Prince Fielder and Ryan Braun have been playing some of the best baseball in their careers and I think they will get to The Cardinals pitching. The Brewers have been playing team ball all season and I think they actually believe in eachother and those are usually the teams that win it all.

Brewers over Cardinals in 7 Games

2011 ALDS & NLDS Predictions

MLB 2011 ALDS & NLDS Predictions

ALDS

Detroit Tigers Vs New York Yankees

This is going to be a fun series to watch. These two teams matchup really well against eachother, the first game will probably be the only low scoring game of the series since two of the best pitchers in the league, C.C. Sabathia and Justin Verlander, will be pitching. But other than that the rest of the games will probably be high scoring, both teams can score at any given time, steal tons of bases and even when they are down in the bottom of the 9^th you cannot count them out! The edge to me is going to be The Yankees lineup because they have three of the best hitters in the game with Curtis Granderson who has 41 home runs this season, Mark Teixeira who has 39 home runs and Robinson Cano who has 28 home runs. And even though Alex Rodriguez has been injured most of the season you can't sleep on him because he can still get the job done. The Tigers have Justin Verlander who has had a great season and has been a consistent pitcher his entire career, but outside of him they don't have anybody who I think is going to step up and be able to win the series. But this season Verlander hasn't been that great against The Yankees both of his starts against them this season were no decisions and The Yankees had no problems scoring runs on him.

Yankees Over Tigers in 4 Games

Tampa Bay Rays Vs Texas Rangers

The Rays are a team that have been on fire the second half of the season and they've been doing it quietly with no hype. The main reason why is because of their dominant pitching and their batting lineup is finally healthy. The Rangers to me have a great batting lineup, but their problem like it was in the playoffs last year is their pitching. They lost Cliff Lee in free agency and he carried them all the way to The World Series, where he choked and The Rangers ended up losing to The Giants (sorry had to get that in there hehe). But their pitching is going to be a problem because we all know that pitching wins championships and I think The Rays lineup will be able to knock around The Rangers pitchers, while their pitchers will be able to lock down The Rangers batting lineup. The Rays are playing some really good baseball right now and I think they will be a team to watch out for in the playoffs who might cause some upsets.

Rays Over Rangers in 5 Games

NLDS

St. Louis Cardinals Vs Philadelphia Phillies

The Cardinals were way out of the playoff race months ago! Their season did not start off well, Pujols got injured and they really didn't start getting it together until the last month (they should also send a big thank you down to The Atlanta Braves for choking hardcore!). But they definitely got it going at the best time of the year, that's the thing about baseball it does not matter how you start the season, it's how you finish. What sucks for them is they are playing the best team in baseball, The Phillies have been consistent all season long. Dominant pitching and a killer batting lineup. The Phillies haven't gone through much of a slump like the rest of the teams in the playoffs this year and I expect them to start the playoffs strong. Their pitching staff has some of the best pitchers in the league led by Roy Halliday and Cliff Lee, also Cole Hamels has had a great season! The Phillies pitching is much better than The Cardinals and it will be a huge reason why they win the series. Their batting lineup is also stacked so they should be able to give their pitchers some big leads to work with. The Cardinals lineup is banged up and their pitching is decent at best. I expect this to be a pretty easy series for The Phillies.

Phillies over Cardinals in 3 Games

Arizona Diamondbacks Vs Milwuakee Brewers

Most people are not going to give a flying fuck about this series because they're not popular teams, but this is probably going to end up being a really good series if you're a baseball fan. Both teams have been huge surprises this year and have been playing well since the All Star Break. Ian Kennedy of The Diamondbacks came out of nowhere and has 21 wins on the season with 2.88 ERA and is a Cy Young candidate. Their short stop Justin Upton has also had a great season offensively with 31 home runs and 88 RBI. The Brewers lineup has been dominant all season long, Prince Fielder has had one of his best seasons along with Ryan Brewer. I think The Brewers batting lineup is what will be the edge in this matchup and they will win a playoff series for the first time since the 80's!

Brewers over Diamondbacks in 5 Games

2011 NFL Playoff Predictions

NFC                                                                 AFC

1. Atlanta Falcons (13-3)                             1. New England Patriots (13-3)
2. Green Bay Packers (11-5)                       2. Baltimore Ravens (12-4)
3. Philadelphia Eagles (11-5)                       3. San Diego Chargers (11-5)
4. St. Louis Rams (9-7)                               4. Houston Texans (10-6)
5. Dallas Cowboys (10-6)                           5. Pittsburgh Steelers (12-4)
6. New Orleans Saints (10-6)                      6. New York Jets (12-4)

Wildcard Round                                                  Wildcard Round

New Orleans Saints Vs Philadelphia Eagles        New York Jets Vs San Diego Chargers

Dallas Cowboys Vs St. Louis Rams                    Pittsburgh Steelers Vs Houston Texans

Divisional Round                                                   Divisional Round

Dallas Cowboys Vs Atlanta Falcons                    New York Jets Vs New England Patriots

Philadelphia Eagles Vs Green Bay Packers           Pittsburgh Steelers Vs Baltimore Ravens

NFC Championship                                                AFC Championship

Green Bay Packers Vs Atlanta Falcons                      New York Jets Vs Baltimore Ravens

Super Bowl XLVI

New York Jets Vs Atlanta Falcons

Champions: New York Jets

NFC & AFC West 2011 Predictions

NFC West (Worst)

St. Louis Rams (9-7)

The Rams are a team that is headed in the right direction, but not quite there yet. Sam Bradford looks to be the future of the team after the season he had last year. For a rookie with a barely decent squad he looked pretty good and everybody seems to be forgetting they also have Steven Jackson in the backfield. He is a threat both on the ground and through the air, if he stays healthy he is one of the most dangerous guys on the field. They picked up Mike Sims-Walker at wide receiver so that should help, but they still need a go to guy for Bradford. On defense they are pretty solid up front, but in the secondary will probably end up getting beat in coverage. The good thing for The Rams is, they are in the most pathetic division in all of football and it won't take much to sneak into the playoffs!

San Francisco 49ers (6-10)

I thought it was a great move for the 9ers to pick up Jim Harbaugh as their coach, but I think it's an absolutely STUPID move to hold onto this moron Alex “Sack Me” Smith! He sucks, that is all he has proven since day one! I figured this would finally be the year The 49ers would be rid of this dipshit, but apparently he took Harbaugh out on a few dates and one thing led to another and now Alex Smith is the starting quarterback. By the way Colin Kaepernick is not the future either! He is only a good quarterback in a college football system, the offensive system he had at UNR is not even remotely close to what is going on the NFL and he won't be able to adjust. On top of that he's a string bean, he will get beat the fuck up if he doesn't bulk up a bit, he's not really that accurate either. For some odd reason when I watch him play he's always reminded me of a ballerina, just prancing around and just tossing up the ball with barely any zip on it. The thing that sucks for the 49ers is they have quite a few good players on the team on offense and defense, but they are so fucked at quarterback that these weapons on offense won't be able to do much considering the quarterback will either be on his ass or giving up turnovers all day long!

Arizona Cardinals (5-11)

The Cardinals are so lucky that Larry Fitzgerald is a loyal ass mother fucker and signed an extension with them because that is all this team has going for them. I have no idea why everybody thinks Kevin “Corn On The” Kolb is so great? He has accomplished a butt load of.....NOTHING!!! I never thought he was going to be the heir apparent to McNabb in Philly, I never thought he could win the job back from Vick and I don't think he will do anything in Arizona! On defense they have some decent guys, but not enough to make them a good team. Let's all welcome The Cardinals back to mediocrity!!

Seattle Seahawks (5-11)

The Seahawks biggest mistake was not resigning Matt Hasselbeck, now they are stuck with that bum Tarvaris Jackson or Charlie Whitehurst, either way it's not good! Not much else is going on with the offense either, sure they signed Sidney Rice but he was never really relevant until Brett Favre became his quarterback in Minnesota, so it's not like Rice is going to be the savior of the team. On defense nothing is going on there either. All in all The Seahawks should have a shitty ass season!

AFC West

San Diego Chargers (11-5)

Over the past couple of seasons The Chargers have started the season off slow and then start to get it going towards the end. I think their problem last year was that Philip Rivers go to guy Vincent Jackson held out the first half of the season, then came back and got injured. Antonio Gates also spent a good portion of the season playing injured. The Chargers weakness on offense could be the backfield, Ryan Mathews spent most of his season injured last year so it's not clear if he is going to be the guy who fills the spot that Tomlinson left, they also lost Darren Sproles to free agency. On defense they always seem to get the job done with guys that most people don't even really know. In the secondary they have Quentin Jammer and Eric Weddle, they also signed Bob Sanders in the off season and when he's healthy he is one of the best safeties in the league. The Chargers are in a weak division and should take advantage of that easily!

Kansas City Chiefs (7-9)

I've never understood why the media thinks Matt Cassell is so great? Sure he's a decent quarterback, but it's not like he's the next Tom Brady or something! Jamaal Charles has turned out to be a reliable back and along with Thomas Jones they make a great one-two punch in the backfield. On defense they aren't too bad, they have Tamba Hali and Derrick Johnson leading the linebacking core and Eric Berry in the secondary, but outside of that not much else is going on. The Chiefs are a mediocre team at best I'm not expecting much out of them this season.

Oakland Raiders (6-10)

The Raiders lost their best player on the team to free agency, Nnamdi Asomugha, the cornerback who was the anchor of their defense for years. But losing is what The Raiders have grown accustomed to for many years now. They didn't do much in free agency at all and they drafted Terrelle Pryor for some odd reason? I don't know how he is going to help them out, but hey that's what Al Davis does, makes dumbass decisions and signs or drafts players at positions they don't even really need! The defense is not going to be the same at all now and they were actually pretty good last year on the defensive side. On offense McFadden did break out and have a good season on the ground, but The Raiders don't have much else on offense. Jason Campbell is a decent quarterback but he's not going to be anything to write home about and at receiver they don't have much going on there either. But even with all that said we all know every single dillusional Raider fan swears this team is going to win the Super Bowl, it's what they do every year! And the funny thing is they act like such die hard fans, but yet each and every home game or at least the last 7 home games of the season end up blacked out because nobody shows up!

Denver Broncos (4-12)

For The Broncos this off season has been all about their quarterback “competition” between Kyle Orton, Tim Tebow and Brady Quinn. In my personal opinion I don't think one of them is worth a crap, all three of them are the equivalent of a dirty sack of baby diapers, so really no matter which one they plays the result will be the same. They don't have much else going on with the offense either, the receiving core is weak and the ground game is decent, but nothing that is going to make a huge difference. On defense they are getting back Dumerville from injury last season, which will help them out since he is a damn good defensive end and they still have Champ Bailey in the secondary who has been one of the most consistent cornerbacks in the NFL for years. They also drafted Von Miller the top linebacker in the draft this season, who I think could possibly be rookie of the year. But even with that good of a defense, the terrible offense is what will hold The Broncos back and make this a long season in Denver!

NFC & AFC South 2011 Predictions

NFC South

Atlanta Falcons (13-3)

The Falcons were one of the top teams last season, but got killed in the playoffs by The Packers. I think that loss will only help them get better for this season. They traded up in the draft to get Julio Jones and that was one of the few things they were missing on offense, another quality wide receiver to go along with Roddy White and Tony Gonzalez. Matt Ryan has been a consistent quarterback for The Falcons since the day they drafted him all he does is win and that is the most important thing in all of sports! He is 33-13 in his career so far and only 2 losses total at home, 3 if you include the playoffs! The defense is solid and knows how to force turnovers and usually don't make stupid mistakes. I think The Falcons will not only rule their division but also The NFC, watch out for them this season.

New Orleans Saints (10-6)

The best thing about the lockout ending is I don't have to fucking see Drew Brees and the ugly growth on his face quite as much! Get rid of that shit dumbass, although that still won't get rid of the ugly from his stupid face! Anyways back to football heh, as much as I can't stand Drew Brees and his ugly face he is still a good quarterback and as long as he's around The Saints will be competitive. They got rid of that bitch Reggie Bush and upgraded to Mark Ingram through the draft. Running back was the only weakness on offense for The Saints because they didn't have a guy who can pound it through the middle (hehe), now with Ingram back there and picking up Darren Sproles in free agency The Saints should be scoring even more points. Their defense on the other hand is suspect, they lost some guys in the secondary which I think will be their biggest weakness. Up front they're not too bad, but they aren't going to be scaring anybody with their defense this season. The Saints should have a good year and be in contention for the playoffs.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers (9-7)

The Bucs were a sleeper team last year, Josh Freeman came out of nowhere and looks to be the future of this team. LeGarrett Blount also busted out and had a good season and will now take over as the go to guy in the backfield. The defense is tough to gain yardage on as well, the defensive line got even better by drafting Gerald McCoy and the secondary keeps it locked down. The major weakness for The Bucs is their receiving core, they don't have that go to #1 guy and until they get that they won't be able to keep up with the top dogs in their division, The Falcons and Saints. The Bucs still have some growing to do and this season will be a lot of that, they will have some good moments, but they will have some bad ones!

Carolina Panthers (2-14)

The Panthers are in rebuilding mode right now. I think by drafting Cam Newton that was definitely a move in the right direction, but they still have multiple spots to fill on the team before they become a contender. Usually having a rookie qb as your starter means it's most likely going to be a rough season especially when there is a new coach taking over. There will be a few veterans on the offense helping him out, Deangelo Williams at running back, Steve Smith if he can stay healthy and picking up Shockey and Greg Olsen at tight end in the off season will all be good for Newton's progress this season. On defense there really isn't much going for them and that's really going to kill them in this division. It's going to be another long season for The Panthers!

AFC South

Houston Texans (10-6)

The Texans are a team that has been headed in the right direction the last couple of seasons, but have fallen short towards the end of the season. I think this year they finally break through. On offense they're solid, they have Andre Johnson who has been making big plays since the day he stepped on the field even when The Texans were garbage! Arian Foster had a break out season last year, but has been having a difficult off season battling hamstring injuries hopefully that doesn't haunt him all season. On defense they love to get at the quarterback and that's all thanks to the defensive end Mario Williams, he has been getting better ever since the day they drafted him and I think he is going to have a defensive MVP type season this year and they also added one of the top rookie defensive ends to help him out on the other side, J.J. Watt. They are stacked at linebacker, the secondary got the help they needed in the off season by signing Johnathan Joseph and Danieal Manning, and they also got a defensive genius as their new coordinator, Wade Philips. He's terrible as a head coach but when it comes to just focusing on the defense he knows what he's doing. I think The Texans will finally get to their first playoff appearance and division title in their franchise history this year!

Indianapolis Colts (9-7)

The Colts are in trouble mostly because of Peyton Manning's neck surgery. We aren't sure if he is going to play in the first game or at what point of the season he will be back. Knowing Manning it won't be long if he misses any time at all, but no team relies on one player like The Colts do Manning. He runs that team, he knows the offense inside and out and old ass Kerry Collins will not be their savior! Go back home Collins NOBODY missed you! Even if Manning does start he's not 100% and I have a feeling this is going to be a slow start to the season for The Colts. On defense they lost a few good players to free agency, which is not going to help them at all! Dwight Freeney is just about the only worthwile guy on that defense, so have fun with that! They might pick up steam towards the end of the season, but I think it'll be too late.

Jacksonville Jaguars (5-11)

There really isn't too much going on for The Jaguars, they did draft Blaine Gabbert who I think at some point will take over at quaterback for them this season. I think the whole David Garrard project is starting to run it's course and they need a change. Maurice Jones- Drew is really all else they have going for them on offense and on defense who knows what's up? I think Jack Del Rio is definitely on the hot seat to possibly lose his job after the season especially if they have another mediocre year. The Jaguars have shown promise at certain times, but also failed hard and really have accomplished nothing under Del Rio, it might be time for them to go in a different direction there too.

Tennessee Titans (4-12)

Who the hell knows what The Titans have been thinking lately? At least they signed Chris Johnson to an extension, that he deserved, and he will be ending his holdout, but other than that The Titans don't have much going for them. On offense the quarterback situation will be new, Matt Hasselbeck signed in the off season and looks to be the starter with the first round pick Jake Locker sitting for now at least. But they have nobody to throw to and with all the time Chris Johnson has missed I have a feeling his season is going to end up like Revis of The Jets from last year, he also held out and missed some time and ended up getting injured throughout the season I see this happening to Chris Johnson not only due to missing practice time, but also the offense is pretty much going be all on him! On defense they're still pretty decent but once again it's going to be a new system with a new coach so who knows how it will look now? I see this being a long season for The Titans.

NFC & AFC North 2011 Predictions

NFC North

Green Bay Packers (11-5)

The Green Bay Packers are the defending Super Bowl Champs and only improved in the off season. They didn't even have to do anything in free agency either because they are getting numerous players back who were injured from last season! Mike McCarthy is an offensive mastermind and knows how to get the best out of every player he has on offense, whether he's a starter or coming off of the bench, that's the main reason why they won it all last season! Aaron Rodgers can light up any defense because he has Greg Jennings and Donald Driver to throw to and is getting a dangerous weapon back at tight end, Jermichael Finley. Finley is a versatile tight end who has great hands, is physical and fast as hell if you let him loose! On defense they can get at the quarterback with Raji and Mathews and we know Charles Woodson has everything locked down in the secondary. The only weakness The Packers have is at the running back position, Ryan Grant isn't that great, but they made it work last year by having a couple different guys rotate in the back field and never really had a quality starter throughout the season. The Packers should once again be strong contenders in the NFC this season!

Minnesota Vikings (10-6)

The Brett Favre era in Minnesota is finally over! I think for the most part he dragged the team down last year, as well as a terrible coach, but I think they are heading in the right direction now. Leslie Frazier is their new head coach because he turned The Vikings around towards the end of last season, he's a defensive minded coach, but made most of the moves this off season on offense. They traded for Donovan McNabb who I think will be a good addition to the team, McNabb still has a canon of an arm and has been known to turn decent wide receivers into good wide receivers. He's a leader and has plenty to work with on offense, including one of best running backs in the league, Adrian Peterson. Peterson is a beast of a back, he's tough to bring down, runs hard, and once he hits the hole if you don't at least get one hand on him he's gone! Adrian Peterson has been known to make big plays out of nothing and McNabb coming in is only going to make him better! The defense is led by Jared Allen who is a beast coming off the end and will be tough to run on with their deep linebacking core. They did lose a couple guys on defense which could cost them a couple of games but other than that The Vikings should be a competitive team this season and should make things interesting in the NFC North.

Chicago Bears (9-7)

The Bears are coming off of a tough loss to The Packers in the NFC Championship game last season. Jay Cutler has a lot to prove this season because of his poor performance too. But they didn't do anything in the off season to help him out, they traded away his only solid target Greg Olsen and they signed Sir Drops A Lot Roy Williams. Trust me I know that dude ain't gonna do shit for them! I think The Bears will struggle on offense this season all around, the only thing The Bears have going for them is their defense, but if the offense isn't helping you out there's only so much the defense can do for you! I think it's going to be a long season for The Bears.

Detroit Lions (8-8)

I'm really not buying all this hype that the media is selling on The Lions! Yeah they have some promise and picked up some good players, but whoop di doo! They're still The Detroit Lions! They have a good defense, Suh is a beast up the middle and will have quarterbacks on their asses all day long and their offense has some potential to be good if Matthew Stafford stays healthy. But they are in a division with not only The Super Bowl Champs, but with two other teams who are slighly better than them. Sure The Lions will be better this year, for The Lions... and I'm sure they'll make a few games interesting. But it's not like they're going to the playoffs or winning a Super Bowl so really who cares?!

AFC North

Baltimore Ravens (12-4)

Ever since John Harbaugh has taken over as head coach of The Ravens he has turned them into contenders every season, but have just fallen short. Their defense is solid as a rock and if Ed Reed is healthy don't throw that ball near him or else he might be running it back for 6 points and don't forget about Ray Lewis, as long as he's healthy that defense is strong! On offense they needed to add a few pieces to the puzzle and I think they got them with Lee Evans and Ricky Williams. Lee Evans is going to give them the deep threat that they needed on offense and will open up things for Anquan Boldin and Ray Rice. It's going to be a battle in the AFC North between The Ravens and The Steelers, but I think The Ravens will end up winning the division.

Pittsburgh Steelers (12-4)

The Steelers are coming off of a tough loss to The Packers in The Super Bowl and they are ready this season to try and get back there and win it all! The Steelers defense is by far one of the best in the league, they get at the quarterback, force turnovers and it's the staple of what The Steelers are about. On offense Ben Roethlisberger can light up a defense with his arm and extends plays because he can move and is tough to get down, he also has plenty of weapons to work with, the only problem is he is going to be running around a lot! The Steelers over the past couple of seasons just refuse to make the offensive line better and that has hurt them in the past, including The Super Bowl, and I think this will be a major weakness for them this season, which could cost them the division.

Cleveland Browns (5-10)

The Browns are in the same spot they normally are, Loserville. They don't have much going for them except for Colt McCoy whose a sopping wet vagina in my opinion. I know what that bitch does when the big game rolls around, pinches a nerve in his wittle shoulder and gets dead arm in the National Title game...PUSSY! Sorry got side tracked there by bad memories, anyways The Browns aren't going anywhere the only reason why I'm even writing about them is mainly just to make fun of Coltina McCoy.

Cincinnati Bengals (2-14)

The Cincinnati Bengals are going to be one of the laughing stocks of the league this year! I think the majority of what they did this off season did not help their team at all! First off this bull shit with Carson Palmer is ridiculous, just release the guy, trade him, do something! But don't turn this into a “whose the biggest baby” contest, just end it and move along! But the moronic owner refuses to do so and I guess we now know why The Bengals have been suck bags for years! What really sucks for them is they have to play The Ravens AND Steelers TWICE, so have fun with that!! There really aren't too many positive things I can say about The Bengals right now except for, at least they will have a high draft pick next year!

NFC & AFC East 2011 Predictions

NFC East

Philadelphia Eagles (11-5)

Nobody busted into free agency like the Eagles did. They signed Nnamdi Asomugha, obviously the most sought after defensive free agent this off season. Then they traded for Antonio Rodgers- Cromartie from The Cardinals and picked up a few more offensive pieces for Vick in free agency by signing Ronnie Brown and Steve Smith. Michael Vick is coming off of an MVP type season last year and I expect him to continue it onto this season. DeSean Jackson ended his holdout which is one of the best things for them since he not only is a threat on offense but also on special teams. I’m still not sure why The Eagles won’t give him the money he deserves, but that’s for another conversation! On offense The Eagles are stacked and should have no problem at all tearing up opponents throughout the season and they are going to have people locked down in the secondary with their shut down corners, but the problem to me is going to be their pass rush. Their linebackers are either young or really not that impressive and their defensive line isn’t that impressive either. But the good thing for The Eagles this year and really the entire NFC East is that they all take on The NFC West this year, which is by far the most pathetic division in football and this will help them get some easy wins. I think in the NFC East it will be a battle between The Eagles and Cowboys, but I think that The Eagles will win the division.

Dallas Cowboys (10-6)

The Cowboys are starting a new era with Jason Garrett as the head coach and Rob Ryan as the defensive coordinator. I am extremely excited about Rob Ryan he is exactly what this defense has been missing, besides a secondary. Ryan loves to rush the passer and The Cowboys definitely have the defensive line and linebackers to take care of this. Demarcus Ware is coming off of one of his best seasons so I can imagine what he is going to do under Rob Ryan this year! The Cowboys secondary still has some questions to answer, last year they loved to blow coverage and give up big plays to receivers, but hopefully the pressure up front is going to prevent some of those big plays. The Cowboys didn’t do too much in free agency this year and I don’t think they really needed to because a lot of their problem last year was injuries. Romo returns on offense and still has a ton of weapons to get the ball to. Dez Bryant is also back from missing the last part of the season, he was spectacular to start last year and I think he is going to continue it on into this year and have a huge year, not only on offense but also on special teams. With the release of Marion Barber that means Felix Jones has become the man at running back with Tashard Choice backing him up. I think The Cowboys will be much improved from last year because Jason Garrett is bringing discipline back to the team, which is something they have needed for YEARS! The dumb ass plays, penalties, and little mistakes need to stop and discipline is what stops that kind of stuff! The Cowboys should be competitive in not only their division but also be a contender in the playoffs.

New York Giants (8-8)

I’m not expecting much from The New York Giants this year. They cut the majority of their offensive line, which sucks for Eli Manning because he is going to be running around and be on his ass all season long! By the way Eli, you aren’t anywhere near Tom Brady’s status as a quarterback dumbass!! Eli only looks good when he has big targets to just lob the ball up to and pray that they catch it, other than that Eli is just an average quarterback at best! The Giants didn’t resign the tight end Kevin Boss, who was a big target for Eli. It looks like Osi Umenyiora is going to miss some games this season due to his knee surgery so that will be a huge loss on defense for them. They are also missing the majority of their secondary to injury as well. This looks like the injury bug is going to kill The Giants and follow them around all season long. I think this is going to be an up and down year for The Giants, they’ll get some wins because of the weak schedule, but other than that this team isn’t that impressive.

Washington Redskins (4-12)

I have no idea what the hell this team is doing with themselves?! They are either going to be starting Rex Grossman or John Beck at quarterback this year? Really?! Did you guys even try this off season to get a real quarterback? I understand if you were over the whole Donovan McNabb experience, but those other two chumps can’t possibly be what they think is the answer at quarterback can they? Rex Grossman is literally one of the biggest sacks of garbage to ever hit the NFL and John Beck who the hell is he?!?!?! Whatever I hate The Redskins so I will enjoy watching how terrible they are this year. The defense should be decent and help them win a few games this year, but other than that what else do they have? On offense they picked up Tim Hightower and signed Donte Stallworth, but that isn’t going to do much for them with no quarterback. I’m starting to wonder if Mike Shanahan has really lost it because so far since he’s signed on with The Redskins he’s made some idiotic moves. All The Redskins will be competing for this year is the first pick in the 2012 Draft.

AFC East

New England Patriots (13-3)

The Patriots had a great off season, they picked up all the little pieces to the team that they needed. They traded for Chad Ochocinco who just adds to a deep receiving core with Wes Welker and Deion Branch. They picked up some help on defense by trading for Albert Haynesworth and also signing Andre Carter and Shaun Ellis. The pass rush was The Patriots weakness last year so they went out and got the help that they needed. It’s only the preseason but The Patriots are back to business as usual, just beating everybodies ass! Tom Brady is coming off of an MVP season so I’m sure he’ll still be ripping apart every defense he plays this season. The Patriots are definitely going to be one of the teams to beat this season!

New York Jets (12-4)

For the past couple of seasons The Jets have been getting close to The Super Bowl but just fall short. The Jets didn’t have a lot of holes to fill in the off season to complete their team, but I definitely think they got an upgrade at wide receiver  by signing Plaxico Burress. He has always been consistently good throughout his career and this will just give Mark Sanchez one more big target to throw to along with Santonio Holmes. Two big play wide receivers who caught the game winning TD’s in past Super Bowls, all Sanchez has to do is not be stupid with the ball and the offense should be lights out. Don’t forget they have Tomlinson in the back field and a lot of people have been sleeping on him. The Jets pride themselves on defense and I expect them to have one of the best this season and this will help carry them to the playoffs! It is going to be a tough battle for the division with The Patriots, but I think The Jets will make it very interesting in the AFC East this season.

Miami Dolphins (5-11)

The Dolphins have so many problems I don’t know where to start! How about quarterback? Chad Henne is not the answer, he is mediocre at best. He’s just lucky that he has Brandon Marshall and Reggie Bush to get the ball so they can make a few plays. But I don’t think that will be enough for The Dolphins to actually be competitive this year. They don’t look much better on defense either. It’s going to be a long season for The Dolphins.

Buffalo Bills (3-13)

Yet another team with so many problems I don’t know where to begin! This team has one of the worst quarterback situations because every one of them on their roster is barely even worthy of a 2nd string backup role! Then they go and trade away Lee Evans one of the few decent guys they had on offense and who in the fuck is their starting running back? CJ Spiller? The bust from last year…? The Bills defense has a few good players who will help them win a few games this season, but The Bills are going to be one of the laughing stocks in the league this year! Not really anything new for them though! HAHA!