2021 NFL Season Predictions
Dallas Cowboys (11-6)
This was such a nice and quiet offseason for the Cowboys, for once. There wasn’t a contract dispute, drama between players and coaches, or really anything other than the team getting ready to play some football. Dak is coming back from the horrifying ankle injury last season and he looks like he is ready to go! We have yet to see him take a snap in the preseason due to some precautions with his shoulder, but that’s not really a big deal in my eyes since a lot of starting players don’t usually play a lot, if at all, during the preseason these days. The Cowboys offense is stacked with talent, especially at the receiver position, led by CeeDee Lamb. I think everyone is sleeping on Zeke too. He has one down year and all of a sudden he’s shit now?! The big question mark for the Cowboys is going to be the defense. I love the first round draft pick Micah Parsons at linebacker! That dude is a beast and has been all over the field during the preseason and he may be a rookie of the year candidate, and may also be exactly what the Cowboys need to kick this defense into shape and give them the edge they have been lacking over the years!
Washington Stupid Fucks (9-8)
Well, it looks like I’m going into season number two of the team name I have chosen for the Redskins, which is the Stupid Fucks! This team really needs to get a real name besides “Football Team” and until they do, I will continue to refer to them as the “Stupid Fucks!” On defense I’m expecting them to be one of the top pass rushing teams in the league with Chase Young making a strong case for defensive player of the year. Young had an amazing season last year and I expect him to become a nightmare this year! On the offensive side of the ball things are a lot less thrilling. They brought in the King of journey-men quarterbacks, Ryan Fitzpatrick, who isn’t the worst quarterback in the World, but when you bring him in that means you don’t have a franchise quarterback and you need him to fill in while you find them. He makes big play and the players on the team seem to like him so, he should get them a few big wins, but in the end I don’t expect the Stupid Fucks to be much of a threat this season.
New York Giants (7-10)
The VaGiants have got to be the most boring team coming into this season. Daniel Jones has had his moments of potential, but other than that there really isn’t anything special about the dude and who knows what to expect from Saquon Barkley this season coming off of his knee injury. He is by far one of the most talented backs in the league, but you never know what is going to happen with a knee injury to a running back. Even so, if Barkely was coming into the season healthy this team is not impressive on offense or defense outside of him. I’m expecting a whole lot of mediocrity out of this team.
Philadelphia Eagles (4-13)
The Eagles are going to be one of the most pathetic teams this season. They have no direction at all and this new coach of theirs, Nick Sirianni, sounds like a total idiot anytime he is asked a question from the media. I know, a coach is supposed to be vague with the media and the questions they ask, but he literally sounds like he has no idea what is going on when he speaks. I really have no idea how he ended up getting this job, but he sounds like he is going to fit right in with this loser organization.
Buffalo Bills (13-4)
The Bills are coming off of a spectacular season last year and I expect that they will build off of that and become one of the most dominant teams in the league this year. Josh Allen has progressively become a much better quarterback every year he’s been in the league, and last season he lit it up so, this year I’m expecting him to be an MVP candidate. Stefon Diggs added a whole other element to this offense as well. The only question on offense will be their ground game, which was a problem last year due to injuries. The defense is pretty solid too, but I’m expecting the offense to carry this team. The Bills should not only dominate their Division, but I also expect them to dominate the league and make a deep playoff run.
Miami Dolphins (9-8)
There really isn’t much to say about the Dolphins for this upcoming season. I know, a lot of people are waiting on Tua to have some spectacular season, and the jury is still out on how his game is going to transfer over to the NFL, but my expectations for him were low coming in. Outside of Tua, there really isn’t much else to say about this team because I expect them to be a fairly mediocre team. They may have a couple of surprise upset wins, but I wouldn’t expect to see this team making any waves in the postseason.
New England Patriots (8-9)
Well, this is the second season in a row that the Patriots are coming in with a lot of uncertainty at the quarterback position. Cam Newton is a shell of his former self ever since he had the multiple shoulder surgeries a few seasons ago. He has no zip on the ball and all he has going for him these days is that he can run. They also drafted Mac Jones out of Alabama, who I never had high hopes for to begin with because he was surrounded by great coaches and players at Alabama and we really have no idea how this dude is going to look under pressure, since there was no pressure for him at Alabama. Beyond the quarterback position the Patriots look stale as ever. No top receivers, mediocre running backs, and the defense is aging. The Patriots have lost all of their mystique they once had and at this rate it looks like it’s going to take awhile to get that back!
New York Jets (4-13)
The only expectations that I have for the Jets this season is that they are going to be awful! They have a rookie quarterback, absolutely no weapons on the offensive side of the ball, and the defense is the nobody squad. I guess at least the rookie quarterback, Zach Wilson, is attractive because I imagine he will be getting a lot of coverage from the press this season, not because of the good looks though, but because of the shitty play on the field.