Sunday, August 28, 2011
Green Bay Packers (11-5)
The Green Bay Packers are the defending Super Bowl Champs and only improved in the off season. They didn't even have to do anything in free agency either because they are getting numerous players back who were injured from last season! Mike McCarthy is an offensive mastermind and knows how to get the best out of every player he has on offense, whether he's a starter or coming off of the bench, that's the main reason why they won it all last season! Aaron Rodgers can light up any defense because he has Greg Jennings and Donald Driver to throw to and is getting a dangerous weapon back at tight end, Jermichael Finley. Finley is a versatile tight end who has great hands, is physical and fast as hell if you let him loose! On defense they can get at the quarterback with Raji and Mathews and we know Charles Woodson has everything locked down in the secondary. The only weakness The Packers have is at the running back position, Ryan Grant isn't that great, but they made it work last year by having a couple different guys rotate in the back field and never really had a quality starter throughout the season. The Packers should once again be strong contenders in the NFC this season!
Minnesota Vikings (10-6)
The Brett Favre era in Minnesota is finally over! I think for the most part he dragged the team down last year, as well as a terrible coach, but I think they are heading in the right direction now. Leslie Frazier is their new head coach because he turned The Vikings around towards the end of last season, he's a defensive minded coach, but made most of the moves this off season on offense. They traded for Donovan McNabb who I think will be a good addition to the team, McNabb still has a canon of an arm and has been known to turn decent wide receivers into good wide receivers. He's a leader and has plenty to work with on offense, including one of best running backs in the league, Adrian Peterson. Peterson is a beast of a back, he's tough to bring down, runs hard, and once he hits the hole if you don't at least get one hand on him he's gone! Adrian Peterson has been known to make big plays out of nothing and McNabb coming in is only going to make him better! The defense is led by Jared Allen who is a beast coming off the end and will be tough to run on with their deep linebacking core. They did lose a couple guys on defense which could cost them a couple of games but other than that The Vikings should be a competitive team this season and should make things interesting in the NFC North.
Chicago Bears (9-7)
The Bears are coming off of a tough loss to The Packers in the NFC Championship game last season. Jay Cutler has a lot to prove this season because of his poor performance too. But they didn't do anything in the off season to help him out, they traded away his only solid target Greg Olsen and they signed Sir Drops A Lot Roy Williams. Trust me I know that dude ain't gonna do shit for them! I think The Bears will struggle on offense this season all around, the only thing The Bears have going for them is their defense, but if the offense isn't helping you out there's only so much the defense can do for you! I think it's going to be a long season for The Bears.
Detroit Lions (8-8)
I'm really not buying all this hype that the media is selling on The Lions! Yeah they have some promise and picked up some good players, but whoop di doo! They're still The Detroit Lions! They have a good defense, Suh is a beast up the middle and will have quarterbacks on their asses all day long and their offense has some potential to be good if Matthew Stafford stays healthy. But they are in a division with not only The Super Bowl Champs, but with two other teams who are slighly better than them. Sure The Lions will be better this year, for The Lions... and I'm sure they'll make a few games interesting. But it's not like they're going to the playoffs or winning a Super Bowl so really who cares?!
Baltimore Ravens (12-4)
Ever since John Harbaugh has taken over as head coach of The Ravens he has turned them into contenders every season, but have just fallen short. Their defense is solid as a rock and if Ed Reed is healthy don't throw that ball near him or else he might be running it back for 6 points and don't forget about Ray Lewis, as long as he's healthy that defense is strong! On offense they needed to add a few pieces to the puzzle and I think they got them with Lee Evans and Ricky Williams. Lee Evans is going to give them the deep threat that they needed on offense and will open up things for Anquan Boldin and Ray Rice. It's going to be a battle in the AFC North between The Ravens and The Steelers, but I think The Ravens will end up winning the division.
Pittsburgh Steelers (12-4)
The Steelers are coming off of a tough loss to The Packers in The Super Bowl and they are ready this season to try and get back there and win it all! The Steelers defense is by far one of the best in the league, they get at the quarterback, force turnovers and it's the staple of what The Steelers are about. On offense Ben Roethlisberger can light up a defense with his arm and extends plays because he can move and is tough to get down, he also has plenty of weapons to work with, the only problem is he is going to be running around a lot! The Steelers over the past couple of seasons just refuse to make the offensive line better and that has hurt them in the past, including The Super Bowl, and I think this will be a major weakness for them this season, which could cost them the division.
Cleveland Browns (5-10)
The Browns are in the same spot they normally are, Loserville. They don't have much going for them except for Colt McCoy whose a sopping wet vagina in my opinion. I know what that bitch does when the big game rolls around, pinches a nerve in his wittle shoulder and gets dead arm in the National Title game...PUSSY! Sorry got side tracked there by bad memories, anyways The Browns aren't going anywhere the only reason why I'm even writing about them is mainly just to make fun of Coltina McCoy.
Cincinnati Bengals (2-14)
The Cincinnati Bengals are going to be one of the laughing stocks of the league this year! I think the majority of what they did this off season did not help their team at all! First off this bull shit with Carson Palmer is ridiculous, just release the guy, trade him, do something! But don't turn this into a “whose the biggest baby” contest, just end it and move along! But the moronic owner refuses to do so and I guess we now know why The Bengals have been suck bags for years! What really sucks for them is they have to play The Ravens AND Steelers TWICE, so have fun with that!! There really aren't too many positive things I can say about The Bengals right now except for, at least they will have a high draft pick next year!
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Philadelphia Eagles (11-5)
Nobody busted into free agency like the Eagles did. They signed Nnamdi Asomugha, obviously the most sought after defensive free agent this off season. Then they traded for Antonio Rodgers- Cromartie from The Cardinals and picked up a few more offensive pieces for Vick in free agency by signing Ronnie Brown and Steve Smith. Michael Vick is coming off of an MVP type season last year and I expect him to continue it onto this season. DeSean Jackson ended his holdout which is one of the best things for them since he not only is a threat on offense but also on special teams. I’m still not sure why The Eagles won’t give him the money he deserves, but that’s for another conversation! On offense The Eagles are stacked and should have no problem at all tearing up opponents throughout the season and they are going to have people locked down in the secondary with their shut down corners, but the problem to me is going to be their pass rush. Their linebackers are either young or really not that impressive and their defensive line isn’t that impressive either. But the good thing for The Eagles this year and really the entire NFC East is that they all take on The NFC West this year, which is by far the most pathetic division in football and this will help them get some easy wins. I think in the NFC East it will be a battle between The Eagles and Cowboys, but I think that The Eagles will win the division.
Dallas Cowboys (10-6)
The Cowboys are starting a new era with Jason Garrett as the head coach and Rob Ryan as the defensive coordinator. I am extremely excited about Rob Ryan he is exactly what this defense has been missing, besides a secondary. Ryan loves to rush the passer and The Cowboys definitely have the defensive line and linebackers to take care of this. Demarcus Ware is coming off of one of his best seasons so I can imagine what he is going to do under Rob Ryan this year! The Cowboys secondary still has some questions to answer, last year they loved to blow coverage and give up big plays to receivers, but hopefully the pressure up front is going to prevent some of those big plays. The Cowboys didn’t do too much in free agency this year and I don’t think they really needed to because a lot of their problem last year was injuries. Romo returns on offense and still has a ton of weapons to get the ball to. Dez Bryant is also back from missing the last part of the season, he was spectacular to start last year and I think he is going to continue it on into this year and have a huge year, not only on offense but also on special teams. With the release of Marion Barber that means Felix Jones has become the man at running back with Tashard Choice backing him up. I think The Cowboys will be much improved from last year because Jason Garrett is bringing discipline back to the team, which is something they have needed for YEARS! The dumb ass plays, penalties, and little mistakes need to stop and discipline is what stops that kind of stuff! The Cowboys should be competitive in not only their division but also be a contender in the playoffs.
New York Giants (8-8)
I’m not expecting much from The New York Giants this year. They cut the majority of their offensive line, which sucks for Eli Manning because he is going to be running around and be on his ass all season long! By the way Eli, you aren’t anywhere near Tom Brady’s status as a quarterback dumbass!! Eli only looks good when he has big targets to just lob the ball up to and pray that they catch it, other than that Eli is just an average quarterback at best! The Giants didn’t resign the tight end Kevin Boss, who was a big target for Eli. It looks like Osi Umenyiora is going to miss some games this season due to his knee surgery so that will be a huge loss on defense for them. They are also missing the majority of their secondary to injury as well. This looks like the injury bug is going to kill The Giants and follow them around all season long. I think this is going to be an up and down year for The Giants, they’ll get some wins because of the weak schedule, but other than that this team isn’t that impressive.
Washington Redskins (4-12)
I have no idea what the hell this team is doing with themselves?! They are either going to be starting Rex Grossman or John Beck at quarterback this year? Really?! Did you guys even try this off season to get a real quarterback? I understand if you were over the whole Donovan McNabb experience, but those other two chumps can’t possibly be what they think is the answer at quarterback can they? Rex Grossman is literally one of the biggest sacks of garbage to ever hit the NFL and John Beck who the hell is he?!?!?! Whatever I hate The Redskins so I will enjoy watching how terrible they are this year. The defense should be decent and help them win a few games this year, but other than that what else do they have? On offense they picked up Tim Hightower and signed Donte Stallworth, but that isn’t going to do much for them with no quarterback. I’m starting to wonder if Mike Shanahan has really lost it because so far since he’s signed on with The Redskins he’s made some idiotic moves. All The Redskins will be competing for this year is the first pick in the 2012 Draft.
New England Patriots (13-3)
The Patriots had a great off season, they picked up all the little pieces to the team that they needed. They traded for Chad Ochocinco who just adds to a deep receiving core with Wes Welker and Deion Branch. They picked up some help on defense by trading for Albert Haynesworth and also signing Andre Carter and Shaun Ellis. The pass rush was The Patriots weakness last year so they went out and got the help that they needed. It’s only the preseason but The Patriots are back to business as usual, just beating everybodies ass! Tom Brady is coming off of an MVP season so I’m sure he’ll still be ripping apart every defense he plays this season. The Patriots are definitely going to be one of the teams to beat this season!
New York Jets (12-4)
For the past couple of seasons The Jets have been getting close to The Super Bowl but just fall short. The Jets didn’t have a lot of holes to fill in the off season to complete their team, but I definitely think they got an upgrade at wide receiver by signing Plaxico Burress. He has always been consistently good throughout his career and this will just give Mark Sanchez one more big target to throw to along with Santonio Holmes. Two big play wide receivers who caught the game winning TD’s in past Super Bowls, all Sanchez has to do is not be stupid with the ball and the offense should be lights out. Don’t forget they have Tomlinson in the back field and a lot of people have been sleeping on him. The Jets pride themselves on defense and I expect them to have one of the best this season and this will help carry them to the playoffs! It is going to be a tough battle for the division with The Patriots, but I think The Jets will make it very interesting in the AFC East this season.
Miami Dolphins (5-11)
The Dolphins have so many problems I don’t know where to start! How about quarterback? Chad Henne is not the answer, he is mediocre at best. He’s just lucky that he has Brandon Marshall and Reggie Bush to get the ball so they can make a few plays. But I don’t think that will be enough for The Dolphins to actually be competitive this year. They don’t look much better on defense either. It’s going to be a long season for The Dolphins.
Buffalo Bills (3-13)
Yet another team with so many problems I don’t know where to begin! This team has one of the worst quarterback situations because every one of them on their roster is barely even worthy of a 2nd string backup role! Then they go and trade away Lee Evans one of the few decent guys they had on offense and who in the fuck is their starting running back? CJ Spiller? The bust from last year…? The Bills defense has a few good players who will help them win a few games this season, but The Bills are going to be one of the laughing stocks in the league this year! Not really anything new for them though! HAHA!