NFL Wild Card Predictions

Wild Card Playoff Predictions

AFC

Cincinnati Bengals Vs Houston Texans

Well this is not a matchup anybody predicted to start this seasons playoffs, but here it is! Congrats to The Texans for getting into the playoffs for the first time in their history, which by the way I predicted before the season started, but what sucks for them is Matt Schaub is injured and his backups have been holding it down, but this is the playoffs! I really did not expect to see The Bengals in this at all, but rookies Andy Dalton and AJ Green have been lighting it up on offense and the defense was one of the best in the league. Earlier in the season when these two faced off The Texans squeeked by with the win by one point and they really didn't play well at all The Bengals turnovers helped them out, but this time around I think it will be different. The Texans haven't been playing well at all the last few weeks they're rolling in with a three game losing streak, the offense has slowed down and the defense has not been as dominant. It seems like their injuries are finally taking its toll on the team and going up against a young, hungry team like The Bengals. The Bengals offense has been able to keep up with the best and their defense creates turnovers and a lot of them so The Texans better watch out because I think they bout ta get BLOWN UP!!

Bengals over Texans 27-10

Pittsburgh Steelers Vs Denver Broncos

Well zip ah dee do da TebowTime is going to last one more mother fucking week! Tebow can play like absolute garbage, roll into the playoffs on a three game losing streak, have a shitty ass 8-8 record and yet here he is Jesus's girl Timmy Tebow in the playoffs! Barf! I am so sick and tired of Tebow, but I am so excited about this matchup because The Steelers are going to kick the shit out of The Broncos! The Steelers defense is going to have Tebow running for his life and probably turning the ball over like crazy, James Harrison is going to have a field day with this bitch! The Steelers lost their running back Rashard Mendenhall for the playoffs which kills their offense, but you know my man Big Ben Roethlisberger can lock it down, even if he is injured! Unlike some athletes now a days Roethlisberger is not a pussy when it comes to injuries and when its playoff time he is at his best! His record is 10-3 in the post season, which is one of the best records in the playoffs for a quarterback (I wish I could say the same for Tony Romo's stupid ass)! I don't see this game being close at all at any point except for at kickoff when its 0-0.

Steelers over Broncos 42-7

NFC

Detroit Lions Vs New Orleans Saints

Drew Brees of The Saints has had one of the best seasons a quarterback can have, not only did he break Dan Marino's record for most passing yards in a season, but he has been so on point with every pass and in every game he is tough to stop! He has carried this team all season and has made a strong case to be the league MVP. The Lions have had their ups and downs this season, they started off strong on offense and defense at the beginning of the season, but towards the end they started to lose their swagger. They're still a solid team, but what sucks for them is they have to travel to New Orleans where The Saints are undefeated this season and also a better more experienced squad. This should be a good offensive shootout, but I think The Saints are going to be too much for The Lions to Handle and will get the win. God it was so hard for me to give The Saints all those compliments blech!

Saints over Lions 42-31

Atlanta Falcons Vs New York Giants

Both of these teams have had their ups and downs all season long. Neither one has looked dominant and have had quite a few close calls this season. These teams are so similar its tough to pick a winner in this matchup, on offense they can score a bunch of points and on defense can throw people around and create turnovers, but they both can also play like absolute garbage. Neither team plays well on the road or at home so anything can happen in this one. Basically my pick is going to come down to my hatred of The Giants and I'm hoping to see Manning serve up an Eli special and have a terrible game with a few turnovers and constantly walking off the field with that “Awww Shucks” look on his face all day!

Falcons over Giants 24-21